How do you show up for conflict?
I have been a student of observing energy for my entire life. I’m the type of person that notices patterns and am genuinely curious about them. I have noticed that there are different ways that people relate to conflict. There are also different roles that people take when it comes to conflict. Sometimes you can be a combination of the roles listed. You may have once resonated with one of these roles but, because of the healing work you have done, you may lean more towards another. I’m sure there are more ways that people relate to conflict however, these are the major themes I have noticed. Each theme named has its own unique wound (or wounds) to focus on healing. This is why navigating conflict is such a dynamic healing process. Awareness is always key.
The Avoider: The Avoider will avoid conflict at all costs. They will pretend like nothing is happening and everything is ok. Denial is their armor of defense. It is intolerable for them to accept that there is something wrong and that they need to take action.
The Instigator: The Instigator person thrives off of instigating drama. They are most likely hurt themselves but are not willing to look inwards into their pain. Instead, they project their pain onto everyone around them. There is a part of them that gets pleasure from creating chaos around them.
The Submissive: The Submissive person submits their will to the person with whom they are in conflict. They ignore their own needs and cower to the demands of the other person. The Submissive most likely has a history of trauma and this way of being has become their way to survive. When tensions are high, this person’s body language often times looks like they are folding in on themselves.
The Reactor: The Reactor is someone who automatically goes into a defensive position whenever someone approaches them in a conflict. They feel the world is out to get them and they rather go down fighting. The Reactor explodes. The Reactor is unable to be present and listen. The Reactor refuses to lose, no matter what. The Reactor is unable to take responsibility for their actions.
The Witness: This Witness is the innocent bystander to the conflict. Depending on their own constitution, they will get involved in the conflict or their body will seize up and they will freeze.
The Space Holder: The Space Holder has gained permission from all parties in the conflict to hold space for healing. They have clear boundaries and make sure all parties are in agreement with the boundaries they have set in place for the group healing. The Space Holder must stay grounded and be aware of their own triggers while holding space. The Space Holder has done a lot of their own healing work to understand their own wounds so they can take care of themselves.
Included in the program:
There are four sections in this program, and each is designed to be a self-paced so it will be woven into your life in the ways that works for you. I will occasionally check-in with you to see how you are progressing through the material. You get to choose how often you want to book your 1-on-1 mentoring sessions as well as The Emotion Code® sessions. The material in this program will always be available for you to access. In essence, you can complete the healing sessions as fast or as slow as you want.
Included in each section are the following:
- The Emotion Code® sessions (two for each section)
- 1-on-1 Mentoring sessions (one for each section)
- Teaching Videos (number of videos varies for each section)
- Journal Prompts
- Monthly Group Calls (If you choose to just focus on one section, 2 calls are included. If you invest in the entire program, 6 calls are included)
The Emotion Code®
Each section will include two The Emotion Code® sessions. The reason why The Emotion Code® plays an important role in the program is because I have learned that clearing energy is an important part of supporting us in the process of healing around conflict. One thing I have learned as I deepen my practice with The Emotion Code® is, it gets easier to stay grounded and listen to my heart the more I clear the trapped emotions in my field.
Each section also includes one 1-on-1 mentoring session. We will meet for a mentoring session over Zoom. The purpose of these session is to dive deeper into your own understanding of yourself and how you relate to conflict. We will explore what is going on for you in life and focus on what needs you have in regard to the way you relate to conflict. This is a good place to bring up any things that get stirred up for you once you’ve watched the teaching module videos.
Teaching Module Videos
Each section will include teaching modules where I will go in depth and share what I have learned about conflict within these specific structures. The intention behind the videos is to bring awareness to the different layers that occur when it comes to conflict in the context of the specific focus of the sections. I recommend journaling while listening to the videos and tracking all that comes up for you.
As with all things, you will receive as much as you put into this program. Along with the Emotion Code® clearing, mentoring and teaching video modules, you will be given journal prompts that will deepen your own understanding of yourself, your wounds, and your needs. You must have awareness of your shadow and your wounds. If not, those unmet parts of yourself will hijack your experience. Having awareness around the “role” that you take in conflict is important because it allows for you to have agency and explore what does and doesn’t work. True transformation takes work and discipline. Change happens over time with consistent practice and reflection. You will build the foundation of the skills you will continue to develop throughout your life. You will forever be able to refer to the tools that I am giving you no matter where life leads you.
This is a new addition to the program, inspired by the free Master Class I hosted in September 2020. I love the magic that can occur when we gather together and share our vulnerabilities with one another. These calls will occur once a month and if you are not part of the program, you can still participate. I’ll have a separate signup available for folks who are interested in joining the monthly call. If you are interested in signing up for the next monthly call and are NOT part of the program, click here. If you invest in the entire program 6 monthly calls will be included in the package. If you invest in one of the sections but not the entire program, you will be gifted 2 monthly calls included in the price.
Intention for this offering
As I have already mentioned, I have been a student of observing energy for my entire life. I realized that because of this way of being, I have been tracking the energy of conflict for a long time. Conflict shows up in many ways. We have conflicts within relationships, within communities, within our families, it shows up within different ideologies, and we even have conflict within ourselves. In many ways, conflict is the tension between two polarities. We all have been taught different ways of being with conflict whereas one part of the polarity comes out as the victor. I have learned over the years that there is another way of being with conflict that doesn’t result in conquering over the “other”. However, we first have to dismantle the programming we have internalized in order to be able to see that there is another way.
I have found myself in many settings where conflict arises and over time, I’ve learned how to be present for what’s happening. I’ve learned to track the energy. The first step has been focusing on healing my wounds that get activated. Learning what my triggers are, how I talk to myself, what my flight/fight/freeze responses are, being honest and not giving into shame around what is within my subconscious has been essential to this process. To be clear, this is something I continue to do because new aspects of myself come up to the service to be seen, heard, and healed all the time.
I have learned what I need so I am able to tolerate staying grounded in my body when tensions rise. This has given me the ability to hold space for clearing to be done between people who are in conflict with one another, especially in community.
Whenever I create an offering to share with people I sit and meditate for a long time. I essentially talk with Spirit and ask what wants to come through. Lately, Spirit has been encouraging me to help others heal their wounds around conflict so they can learn how to hold space for clearing conflict. I had an image of a stone dropping in calm water and watching the ripples continue to expand outwards. I believe very strongly in the potential of this work. One thing is for sure, the more we clear these wounds both individually and collectively, the more heart-centered lives people are able to lead.
This body of work comes from 20 years of experience, study, personal healing and growth. It is a program for those who want to heal their own wounds around conflict. It is also a program for those who both want to heal their own wounds and want to learn how to hold space for others who are in conflict.
Four Sections for the Navigating Conflict Program
Section 1- Self: What are your unique wounds that come up when you are in conflict with another? What are the roles you fall into when conflict is present (roles mentioned above)?
Section 2- Family/Ancestral: What role did you play in your family of origin and what ancestral patterns are present for you today when it comes to conflict? How was conflict dealt with in your family?
Section 3- Community/Collective: How has your community and the overall collective influenced the way you view conflict?
Section 4- Holding space for clearing conflict in community: I will share the principles of holding space and you will explore what resonates with your own strengths and abilities. This is made for facilitators and space holders.
As I have mentioned above, I have divided this program into four sections. You can study the first three sections independently of one another. Each Section will include 2 The Emotion Code® sessions, one 1-on-1 mentoring session, various teaching video modules, 2 monthly group calls, and journal prompts for self-study.
Section 4 is only available when you purchase the entire program. I have found that a key component to holding space for others is having a deep understanding of your own wounds. Your personal work comes first. It helps to inform the way you are able to be present for others. When you commit to the entire program, you will have access to the teaching video modules included in all the sections, along with 8 Emotion Code® sessions, 4 1-on-1 mentoring sessions, 6 monthly group calls and all the journal prompts.
- Section 1: Self: $366 USD + 7% processing fee
- Section 2: Family/Ancestral: $366 USD + 7% processing fee
- Section 3: Community/Collective: $366 USD + 7% processing fee
- ALL Sections (Section 1-3 plus Section 4 (Holding Space for clearing Conflict in Community): $1,447 USD + 7% processing fee
If you are interested in the program but need a payment plan, please send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Partial Scholarships Available for BIPOC/LGBTQ
I have a limited amount of partial scholarships available for BIPOC/LGBTQ community, please send me an email at email@example.com if you are interested in applying.
What other people say
Those that are greatly impacted by Natalie’s medicine, you’ll hear them say that she feels like home to them. She feels like home to me. But a healthy kind of home. What we all long for when we long for home. It feels like Natalie. In other words, she sits close to source. She carries this immense spiritual power and also a tender heart which enables everyone to feel held. And something, I feel, she’s especially skilled with is what the world needs so desperately, someone who’s able to hold tension in community and facilitate a dialogue between those that feel wronged by each other. Natalie is able to skillfully hold space for the transmutation of pain, the oppositional kind of pain. And then before you know it people are hugging each other. Those that sat in polarity with each other are now recognizing they actually love each other. Their hug now is much deeper. The hug is a real hug.
– Liv Mokai Wheeler
Energy Workers and Practitioners, I can’t say enough about how Natalie has helped me find my own voice past anger and isolation in ceremony and circle. Because let’s be real, it happens.
– Crystal Seeder
Come take the journey with us!